A cutie or a killer? I know this girl to be both!
I'm speaking today from NVC perspective on life and language, something that liberated my options as a sensitive person. This post is on perception beyond labels, including sensitivity.
Recently, I've experienced two people's reactions against calling somebody a sensitive person. "I'm not overly sensitive" one said. "Isn't everybody sensitive?" said the other. The confusion and rebellion reflects on the problems we encounter describing reality and people.
Who we are is not a problem. It's the way we use and hear words that can liberate or enslave our perception.
Words taken literally can lead to misunderstandings. Words used to describe a person pretend that a person is limited to a box the size of a definition. Worse, we judge some of these definitions as bad and when a 'bad' adjective is ascribed to somebody ("I'm so stupid", "He's too sensitive"), it seemingly eliminates the possibility of them also acting constructively (stupid is not intelligent, insensitive is not sensitive). Confusing reality with words this way is so misleading! Isn't it more accurate to say that a person's life uses a whole spectrum of possibilities (I act stupid one moment and inspired the other) and that we are always changing? That everybody gets a chance to act "bad", "good" and anything in between?
Who we are is in constant movement, constant choice, from one moment to the next. Who we say we are is something fixed, static and limiting our perception.
One way to liberate our perception and expand our options is to stop arguing and start communicating. Let's stop debating who's in the wrong and start asking what everybody is actually hoping for. What might you require and what is a helpful way to ask for it?
Let's live from what's precious to us and not waste time on arguing the choice of labels.
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