Compassion for the child within you

A gift from my friend's gallery: Father and Daughter Art in Arizona

Today I would like to share a quote from a Polish man who loved children very much. He chose to die in a gas chamber with them rather than abandon them in distress. See if his words can inspire greater compassion for the children in your life, including the one (or the ones :-D ) within you:

"How often do we feel disappointment when children fail 

to live up to our expectations. 

And how often do we feel disappointment 

at every step of their development? 

We are their harsh judges, 

rather than their counsellors and consolers."

Janusz Korczak, "A Voice for the Child"

No satisfaction without compassion

This stile post gave me aesthetic and spiritual delight yesterday

Effectiveness matters a lot to me in my client work and in my life. I love it when a behaviour somebody chooses gives them what they hoped to experience through it. And it's tragic to me when people repeatedly give energy/time/money/effort to things that don't "work". I say "repeatedly" to distinguish ineffectiveness from mistake making - to me, the latter is natural and necessary for learning and creativity. 

I think I'm not alone with longing for things in life to deliver. An English TV commercial phrase "it does exactly what it says on the tin/packet" caught on in popular use so quickly precisely because it celebrated things working like you'd want them to. What we often experience in life though is many things not working like we'd like them which is where our most interesting choices begin.

Some will blame and attack. Some will moan and give up. Some will increase their search for satisfying ways to proceed, which sooner or later will include the question of attitude (or if you wish consciousness).

Two points to consider here:

1. There is no true satisfaction without compassion (my view).

2. 'After certain basic human needs are met, isn't what is being sought a state of mind?' (Ellen J. Langer, Mindfulness)

We are not complete

A "photoshoped" image of a graceful insect I came across 

A while ago I mentioned a book I hoped to read and wondered who'd find it first: myself or one of this blog's readers. Well, I haven't heard from any of you about it and have now got hold of a copy. Here goes the first quote from it. 

Does any of it resonate with you? 

MYLES: "I'm a proud of my inconsistencies as I am of my consistencies. (...) Wait three years, and I'll be thinking something else. But there's a consistency in the sense that the direction is the same."

PAULO: "I agree with you. This is for me! I think that one of the best ways for us to work as human beings is not only to know that we are uncompleted beings but to assume the uncompleteness. There is a little difference between knowing intellectually that we are unfinished and assuming the nature of being unfinished. We are not complete. We have to become inserted in a permanent process of searching. Without this we would die in life. It means that keeping curiosity is absolutely indispensable for us to continue to be or to become."

We Make the Road by Walking, 

Myles Horton and Paulo Freire

My thoughts on reading this passage are that - given we are not complete - we could do with a bit more self-compassion and gentleness alongside the "permanent process of searching" so that there's kindness and joy amidst the unfolding of our contribution and work on this planet. 

Full Moon blessings

The Full Moon is irresistibly beautiful tonight, don't you think?

"Let the beauty you love be what you do.

Today, find only beauty especially when your first instinct is to be critical of someone, something, or some opportunity."

Healing Cards, 

Caroline Myss 

P. Occhiogrosso

Every moment brings a choice

Today's dusk through my window...

Not in an exhausting kind of way, rather encouragingly so. Every moment brings a choice because in every new moment there is a choice to do things differently. Below are some possible distinctions to consider as you make your choices how to respond to what happens:

* Respond from "who's done it wrong?" or 

  "what does everybody here long for at this point?"

* Respond from "what s/he has done to me" or 

  "what's important to me to take care of now"?

* Respond from "I won't listen because then I'll have to do what they want me to do" or 

  "I'd like to offer compassionate willingness to hear them to show that what matters to them matters, whether or not it works for me to do what they'd like" 

I know a guy called Chris who knows exactly what I'm talking about here :-D

Skilled love

Tell me how to love you 

so that you feel loved.

Ask me how to love me 

so that I feel cherished.

It's painful to have 

one's loving intentions 

go amiss.

It's harsh to mostly receive 

caring intentions 

that don't work for you.

Don't get me wrong, 

nobody is wrong here, 

no "right answer" as such.

We all try for our best 

especially with those we love.

I just long for skilled love:

aware of the most sensitive.

I am here for no other reason 

than to learn 

to give and receive it.

Will you learn with me?

Learning is love. See?

How to turn an "enemy" into an ally

Hand in hand in autumn season... in Westonbirt

If "an enemy is one whose story we haven't heard" (see last post), how do we turn an enemy into an ally?

Here's an answer by a visionary novelist, Starhawk:

“What happens to the enemy who is invited to share the feast? Does the enemy not transform? Tell your enemies this: There is a place set for you at our table, if you will choose to join us." 

The Fifth Sacred Thing